The Unknown

“We don’t really know what it is, but we’re going to do further testing on it.”  Since July, it feels as if I hear those words whenever I step into a doctor’s office. Unexplainable headaches. Pressure in my head. A knot on my knee.

Back in June, I had the scariest migraine of my life.  I couldn’t think right, my head was throbbing, my vision became impaired in my right eye, and I had problems speaking.  I scheduled an appointment with the neurologist and was diagnosed with chronic headaches. I was prescribed Toprimate (generic for Topamax) and was told to come back the following month.  While taking Toprimate, soda tasted disgusting, I had constant headaches and sweats, I felt out-of-sight/out-of-mind, and I wanted to always be in bed. It was miserable. 

A week later (July 24), I went to the ophthalmologist since my eyes were last checked when I was nine.  He told me to go get my mom and have her listen in on what he found.  Little to my knowledge, we would become experts on neurological conditions.  I was ordered not to Google anything and to come back two days later for testing.  I was also scheduled to have an MRI the following week.  The ophthalmologist said I would be fine, but he wanted to make sure it was nothing severe.

The following Tuesday night (July 30), the ophthalmologist said I had a condition called pseudotumor.  It is extremely rare and is found in 1 in 100,000 women during childbearing years.  After the MRI, I was scheduled to have a spinal tap August 2.

For one who has a high tolerance for pain, let me be real: it hurts. Bad.  The nurses held my hand, and I was put on a strict six-hour bed rest.  I should be having another one, and I will beg for pain medication.  You feel pressure and are lucky to have them hit you on the first try.  When the radiologist measured my fluid pressure (which felt like forever), he said it was at 37.  To give an idea, one passes out at 40, and the normal level is 15.  One nurse remarked that it was the highest she had ever seen.  Though in pain, the entire medical staff was beyond great.  I was informed when I would feel pressure, and one nurse constantly held my hand and said to squeeze when I felt pain.  I’m sure her hand was purple at times.

After the procedure, I thought my level would be normal and that I would be free from pain for a few months. Wrong.  That Sunday, I had a migraine, keeping me in bed for five hours.  Advil no longer worked for pain – only Goody’s Powders (a gift from God, I tell you). 

The headaches and pressure remained constant as it became time for me to head back to Ruston to finish my last leg of graduate school.  I was taking Diamox to help with the fluid pressure, but I had to be weaned off because it was giving me stroke symptoms.  Additionally, I noticed a change in my vision.  What used to be clear objects suddenly had a ghostly appearance.  I recognized this at church.  With a planned weekend at home rapidly approaching, I called the ophthalmologist in New Orleans.  Within 20 minutes, I was sitting in his friend’s office.  By the conclusion, I was blessed – I only needed glasses.  The glasses eventually rid me of most headaches.

What I haven’t mentioned is weight’s “effect” on this condition.  Doctors swear that if you lose as little as 5%, pseudotumor will leave.  I lost that 5%, and I saw squat. Both ophthalmologists and my neurologist said they saw little change, but it wasn’t any better or any worse.  I have kept the weight off, but I put little hope into it. 

In addition to pseudotumor, I have battled hypothyroidism since I was 15.  The prior year, my weight surged, and my mom was concerned.  I was sent to an endocrinologist and have been on Synthroid since.  While I was taking care of doctor’s appointments, she recommended that I get tested for poly-cystic ovarian syndrome.  She said it is commonly linked with pseudotumor. 

I am thankful to be going to a neuro-opthalmologist Friday (yes, on Black Friday).  I am intrigued as to what she will say and will want to do.  Both ophthalmologists I have seen advised that I need to have another spinal tap; however, the neurologist has not shown haste in having one done.  Furthermore, I am seeking a second medical opinion because my current neurologist is does not specialize in pseudotumor, and my ophthalmologist who detected it suggested I do so.  My current neurologist suggested I have a shunt placed if lasiks fail.  I’m 24, and if possible, I do not want to undergo brain surgery.  I decided to blog about this to let others know that they are not alone.

You may be thinking, "what about the spot on your knee?"  Well, I went to a surgeon and had it removed.  After going back yesterday for a checkup, he said nothing is official, but he believes it's a benign tumor of the sweat gland.  Skin pathologists are currently looking at it.  I know I should probably be bummed out and to my wits end, but I seriously laughed the entire drive home as I blasted Tegan and Sara's new CD Heartthrob (seriously the bomb diggity).  

I wish it were easier to find a cure for pseudotumor.  I wish that I (as well as thousands of other women) did not have to endure pressure, pain, and endless failed "treatments" (abstaining from my favorite vegetables that are high in vitamin A has been quite difficult).  I imagine a day where the doctor will tell me that it is no longer there and that I don’t have (insert new medical thing here), but I know that for now, it’s just a dream.

Acrylic, Solar, and Gel Nails: Why You Should Have Them

If you have nails like mine, you can never get them to grow. Nail strengthening products fail; once the tips show rapid signs of growth, the nail gets brittle and breaks; and the nails are always polished. Since I was in fifth grade, my nails NEVER went without color. I would try daring reds, yet would be heartbroken when they would begin to chip, and my nails would break. I filed, removed polish, clipped, painted, moisturized, etc., yet nothing could make my nails look refined. This was until my mom presented a novel idea to me upon my graduation from college: get acrylics.

I didn't want to look like a prostitute, sales clerk, or obnoxious person, but I had an open mind about this change. I donned a French manicure for graduation, but I knew it would last maybe five days. Maybe. Once the tip chips, doom takes over, and thus begins the bye-bye manicure process. Once my nails showed chipping and my fill-ins with a white nail pen stopped working, I broke down and got a starter set. I had the acrylics with the brush-on white tips. Until then, I had no clue what "pink and white" were and was still an amateur at the whole nail thing. I just wanted my fingers to look professional yet give me the satisfaction of tapping things with actual nails that I never had. Over the summer, the acrylic powder made my nails yellow, and by the time I moved to begin graduate school, I changed from white tips to soft pinks. I figured the soft pinks would prevent the ability to tell if my nails had grown much, which meant having to get less-frequent fills. Considering it pained me to fork out $16 every two weeks, I tried to make it happen. After a fill or two with the color, the nail tech told me something alarming. He said I needed to take off the set that was currently on, mainly because when the nail lifts, water gets under and trapped. This results in fungus, which can ruin the whole nail.

Sick.

His solution? Solar nails. He assured me that having a new set would pay off in the end, and the tech sent me to the store owner for my new set. I'm not going to lie - I hate spending the extra money every two weeks to maintain these, but beyond that, they are SUPER low maintenance. They don't chip, always look great, and I have developed a strong relationship with my nail tech, Wendy. When I left the salon that day, I was absolutely shocked as to how good those nails looked. The only reason that I changed salons a few months later was because I grew tired of the constant salon bashing. If you get a fill elsewhere, they critique it. I'm here to get my nails filled and to catch up on gossip - not to hear you insult the person who did my nails (which I greatly appreciated and thought looked nice). My solution? Change salons.

That's where I met Wendy. After getting an oil change at the dealership in the town I attend graduate school, I noticed that the clerk had beautiful solar nails (or "pink and white" if you may). I asked her where she went, and she told me Walmart. My jaw dropped. When I say I abhor that place, it's an understatement. Kids with Cheetos smothered on their faces growling at people; rednecks; mullet families on Saturday mornings (true story); those who can't formulate a sentence; ignorant people who can't work the self-checkout section; and so, so many more pet peeves. I decided to try to overlook those and give it a whirl. Know what? I'm now a regular.

Wendy has never insulted another salon I have attended. She understands that I have to go elsewhere when I'm home, and we always catch up on life once I drop by for a fill. My mom has remarked multiple times that my nails always look beautiful when I go to Wendy. She explains everything to me, and we always catch up on the latest gossip. Here's basically what she said about the three types of nails you can get: solar, acrylic, and gel.

Solar: The most common form of this type is the "pink and white." It's the simple French tips, yet they brush on the white powder after applying the pink. The nail tech will make the white powder a little bit deeper down your nail the first set in order for them to grow out. Whenever I get a "pink and white" fill, it lasts me about six weeks. Although it costs more (to give you an idea, p&w is $35; a regular fill is $20), it pays off in the long-run. Regal Nails in Walmart also uses a shiny coat as a sealant. The salons back home will usually just buff them. If you want a coat elsewhere, there's a charge. Fill time: 2-3 weeks. I try to go every two weeks to prevent the nails from lifting, and to keep them manicured.

Acrylic: These are the basic fake nails you see women wear. The white tips can be painted on, or some women may choose a color. These can cost anywhere from $20-30 for a new set and $13-18 for a fill. The only downfall is that the colors lose their shine after about a week. Also, if you use dark colors, the nail underneath it becomes exposed after about a week, so it looks odd. These nails also lift and make the actual nail yellow a little more easily than the others. Acrylics are the cheapest of the bunch.

Gel: from what I've been told, gel nails are when the technician glues on the plastic white nail tip, adds the pink solution to the bottom (which completes the French manicure look) and seals it with the same clear gel they use for solar nails. One of my friends tried to get me to convert to gel, but Wendy said the "pink and white" solar nails are better than gel. Gel nails cost around the same as the solar to fill.

With all of this being said, I am sold on having fake nails. In fact, I recognize that more and more women are joining the trend. There is seriously NOTHING more relaxing than that moment you step out of the salon with a fill, feeling like you can overcome the world. I had a "pink and white" fill this afternoon and cannot stop looking at my hands. The only things to consider are the damage it does to your actual nail, as well as financial costs in the long-run. If you can overlook that with the professional appearance your nails will have, I advise that you head to the salon now and go get a set.